Ones sense of smell, in a way, is a phenomenon. Its adept ability to instill memories defies logic. I remember waking up, choking on the smell of cigarette smoke as it lingered the downstairs bedroom. The smell was embedded in everything. I knew that because all too often I found myself using the blankets as a gas mask. That smell never left my mind. It wasn't the only smell, however, to leave me with vivid memories of my childhood.
Around midday I could be found on the other side of the white fence. Knee-high bushes stood on either side of the rocky path. The path was not full of pebbles, or sand, or even dirt, it was more of a composition of dirt and palm-sized rocks. My direction of travel was rarely determined, as I often deviated from the man made paths. I wandered; in hopes to find a new path - or maybe I was trying to get lost. Regardless, blackberry bushes were in abundance. They were the one thing that I could never seem to get away from. To this day, I can not describe the aroma of the area to which I so often fled. The sun was white hot; it seemed to immunize my sense of smell. Perhaps that is what instills this memory so vivid in my mind - the smell of nothingness.
Whoa thats so deep beautiful imagery.
ReplyDeleteDear Preadators_17:
ReplyDeleteI genuinely enjoyed your writing very much! I agree with Wyatt, but I'm serious... I like the unusualness of the topic (that being "smells") & your diction was most wondrous. It was a very pleasant piece! I only have a few helpful hints for your considerations:
The path was not full of pebbles, or sand, or even dirt, it was more of a composition of dirt and palm-sized rocks.
(adding a comma instead of a period between dirt & it perhaps?)
My direction was rarely determined.
(This is just a tad awkward. Maybe adding a more words or even connecting the sentence with another may be helpful)
The sun was white hot; it seemed to immunize my sense of smell.
(Semicolon between hot & it, or maybe just a comma)
WOW!! I know Ms. P said that we should give some "constructive feedback", but all I can say is WOW!!!
ReplyDelete