Sunday, February 27, 2011

A Familiar Phenomenon

Ones sense of smell, in a way, is a phenomenon.  Its adept ability to instill memories defies logic.  I remember waking up, choking on the smell of cigarette smoke as it lingered the downstairs bedroom.  The smell was embedded in everything.  I knew that because all too often I found myself using the blankets as a gas mask.  That smell never left my mind.  It wasn't the only smell, however, to leave me with vivid memories of my childhood. 
Around midday I could be found on the other side of the white fence.  Knee-high bushes stood on either side of the rocky path. The path was not full of pebbles, or sand, or even dirt, it was more of a composition of dirt and palm-sized rocks.  My direction of travel was rarely determined, as I often deviated from the man made paths.  I wandered; in hopes to find a new path - or maybe I was trying to get lost.  Regardless, blackberry bushes were in abundance.  They were the one thing that I could never seem to get away from.  To this day, I can not describe the aroma of the area to which I so often fled. The sun was white hot; it seemed to immunize my sense of smell.  Perhaps that is what instills this memory so vivid in my mind - the smell of nothingness.

3 comments:

  1. Whoa thats so deep beautiful imagery.

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  2. Dear Preadators_17:

    I genuinely enjoyed your writing very much! I agree with Wyatt, but I'm serious... I like the unusualness of the topic (that being "smells") & your diction was most wondrous. It was a very pleasant piece! I only have a few helpful hints for your considerations:

    The path was not full of pebbles, or sand, or even dirt, it was more of a composition of dirt and palm-sized rocks.
    (adding a comma instead of a period between dirt & it perhaps?)

    My direction was rarely determined.
    (This is just a tad awkward. Maybe adding a more words or even connecting the sentence with another may be helpful)

    The sun was white hot; it seemed to immunize my sense of smell.
    (Semicolon between hot & it, or maybe just a comma)

    ReplyDelete
  3. WOW!! I know Ms. P said that we should give some "constructive feedback", but all I can say is WOW!!!

    ReplyDelete